alkaline trio, hamlet, metropolis, murse, spoleto (or: settle down)

a flare of fasting
last time we talked,
i really want it but
i still blanched at the thought

and when i said,
"our kids will be —"
i stopped pretty
suddenly
for obvious reasons.

all i want.
all i want is to reach in there,
maybe down my throat,
maybe plunge my hand straight through
my sternum
like i saw in a certain photograph
(except that was a child,
and it was the grim reaper pulling out all
of his insides and leaving a flap of a shell.)

reach in there,
and grab my heart

(hold that in one hand)
reach into my brain,
pluck out a body

stick the heart in the body
and i'm good to go!

i used to think of music but now all i hear is
this could be love,
(LOVE FOR FIRE)
and men with fatally gorgeous names
and fingers on a long-necked bass

i used to think of soliloquies but now all i see is
his sleazy, anorexic body, oozing sex,
oh hamlet, spit out those words,
sear that poor girl's brain;
let those guards force you to the ground

from this time forth,
my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth