charred trees against the sky
stuck in my headlights like another person
(or so i thought,
but look, i'm all alone again,
and no amount of god)
god is pounding his way through my eardrums
borne on the music of young men
(he's a clever one, he knows my weaknesses)
but you can't make yourself believe.
i wish i could tell my son that one day.
red black open graves as the crow flies all alone
you can drown yourself
you can drown yourself in sex,
seize it, take it from their willing hands,
you can commit a thousand murders,
rip the blood from fragile and gasping veins,
you can pull bottles dry
of misguided antiseptics,
but no amount of sex and blood and vodka
all over your silken body
no amount of god
all inside you
can erase the fact:
you are the human stain.
you will never stop hating yourself.
why am i so disjointed
why am i so scared all the time
why am i suddenly so scared all the time
6 comments:
i read that long poem, and i thought it was brilliant, and i commented on it.
i like your new picture. on the poem: as he picked up his hammer and saw.
(and, you know, quite good, slightly depressing, all that.)
swartzwelder is probably as bad as swarcenbackjfasjde.... but i still can't spell blake's last name. besides, i bet kyle's music is cuter. also, have you met and flirted with blake? because i met and flirted with kyle. ergo, kyle wins.
he lives in like delaware, i met him when i went to bean and leaf once for an untasty dinner and he was playing there. i bought his CD. i was his friend.
hey! i met kyle swartzwelder, too! kerri never burned me a copy of his CD. also, it wasn't really flirting or anything.
also, this is really depressing, but really good.
also also, the boy who blocked his own shot? cool.
also also also... when was yours?
a. schwarzenbach. look, it is not that hard to spell.
b. kerri did not flirt with kyle swajsdkdsfihvjcjc, whose name i find much more difficult to spell.
c. yo, boy who blocked his own shot, this poem is practically hallucinogenic in its despair. though you have skilz, it made me chew my lip.
d. when you reveal to me that this is really about some mythical figure who has nothing to do with you, i will say "oh, okay. that was really good!"
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