dear jamie woods (visions of 5th grade)

we always made fun of you for your imaginary dirtbike.
you weren't very smart but
you were a total jackass
and i hated you a whole lot.

yeah, i bet you can do all those cool tricks.
why don't you bring in a picture of your dirtbike? hmm?
you never actually brought one in.
we laughed at you for a while.

you were a bully,
all "look i'm so badass," but you got so angry.
you swallowed quarters to impress girls.
i remember all that.

you had a girlfriend in fifth grade.
when the health teacher asked if anyone knew what sex was
(we were in fourth grade) you raised your hand.
i was jealous because i didn't know what that meant.

i remember this: only once did i see you struggling.
you were staring at a math problem (an easy one)
but you couldn't figure it out. you ran a hand through your hair
and your voice — your voice was quiet.

because you had problems in your brain.
and now i think, if you knew what sex was when you were nine,
and you snickered about it, then what was your life like?
for some reason i seem to remember you crying once.

i wonder why you were so angry.
i wonder why you knew about sex when you were nine.
where were your parents?
why didn't they help you, jamie woods?

i'm sorry.
i'm so sorry.