impaled

i'm destined to be one more
rejected adolescent. a
stereotype or a parody.
i watch national guard
commercials twice a week.
i sit at my computer and
keep myself busy all day.
do fish care more about the
suffocation or the hook in
the roof of their mouth?
i look at other people's
photographs. soldiers
sleeping in the trenches
they've just dug or
children holding baby
goats and smiling at
the camera with no irony.
when they see flocks of
wood ducks gathering in
autumn, do cardinals feel
a pang of loneliness?
i'm dependent on other
people's work. i say
"i'm not allowed to
start doing mine."
i'm not good enough.
i've never worn a
uniform. i'm not ready.