deconstructed

life isn't shit as long as i can stand up. as long as i can write, i'll know i'm still thinking. as long as i can sing, i'll know i'm still breathing. don't wait to talk to me. i swear i'll share this bottle if you tell me what you believe. i don't get paid a lot. i get high a lot. sometimes my friends wait up for me. sometimes they know it's best to go on without me. i'm getting old. i disagree. protests are fun, sad little things. if you want to haul your voice into the air, don't be surprised when it flies upward untethered. have you ever lost control? i have. it made my head crash into a million places. i love it. i wish it never happened. i know i told you i'd share this bottle, but i hope you won't mind if it's gone by the time you get here. i don't want a light. i want a fire. can you look into me and see if you can find it? i know i left it there somewhere. i can feel it in my stomach and my jaw and my inner ear. can you reach it? it's pretty far down. you know, i don't even have a van. is that sad? i'm not sad. only my face is sad. i promise. no, i'm not drunk. shit. get out of my goddamn face. i've been smashing bottles blind for a while here. where are my car keys? oh right. no van. no fucking car either. i'm not angry. i'm just a little sad. i promise.